I love birds. I love to watch them soar through the sky as if they hadn't a care in the world.
The idea of flying is one that has always fascinated me. I remember when I was younger watching different documentaries on how birds could fly. I loved the study the diagrams of their wings and how the wind moved across their feathers, creating the lift that they needed to rise into the sky. I've even had a number of dreams throughout my growing up years that I, myself, could fly.
Flight (figurative) is great. I love the wind, the rush of adrenaline when I look over the edge of someplace high. I love the freedom, the daring of new things.
... And I hate it. I hate change, the unknown, not being able to see where I'm going. I hate the sensation of falling, the fear of the pain when I hit the ground.
Right now I am standing at that ledge, heart pounding, breath quickened as I stare over the side at the ground below. The space of air between either promises a long fall or a chance to soar even higher. Which will it be?
I have faith that since it was God who brought me to this ledge that I will soon be soaring among the eagles and dancing on the breeze. But still the whispers come, the haunting voice that quotes the percentages of success in the flying business....
The excited adrenaline turns cold and freezes your breath, strangling you and clutching its cold fingers around your heart.
LA will be the first time I have ever lived away from my family.... This internship will be my first time out "in the the real world of film and television." I will be living in a strange city filled with strange people. I will be on my own.
I only have a little bit more packing to do.
Three days until I fly.
In three days I take that leap of faith and plunge from the cliff edge, head back, wings outstretched, trusting that I will soar.
Today I must remind myself to breathe. I must remind myself that God is in control, that this is where He wants me, and He will take care of me.
Assr vísa ykkarr brand.
(May God guide your sword)
Elizabeth Marie Kauffman
